Is Your Way In Your Way?
Empowering women to overcome self-imposed barriers, self-sabotaging behaviors, imposter syndrome, and burnout, preventing them from living their best lives on their terms. Do you feel stuck? Do you need help discovering your purpose or what your best life truly is? This podcast provides inspiration, tools, and strategies for women to live a purpose-filled life of hope, aspiration, and fulfillment. Tune in to reclaim your power and unlock your full potential!
Is Your Way In Your Way?
Gifts In Unlikely Moments
Some stories don’t just inspire—they recalibrate what you believe is possible. Today we sit down with Dr. Sue McCready, a pediatrician who turned her hardest season into a blueprint for thriving. After multiple miscarriages, a vivid dream pointed to clotting. Baby aspirin, acupuncture, and a deeper dive into methylation genetics helped her welcome a healthy child—and transformed the way she serves women through midlife and beyond.
We unpack the practical and the profound. Sue shares a mind flip question that can change the trajectory of a hard day—what’s great about this—and the mantra that kept her steady: I’m sculpting my soul. We talk about authenticity as a magnet, how people-pleasing hides our gifts, and why owning quirks can be a bridge to the right partners, clients, and friends. Sue opens her coaching toolkit, from Tony Robbins’ six human needs framework to pattern-spotting that turns stuck loops into fresh choices. If you’ve ever wondered why certainty keeps you small or how growth can become your top priority, this segment will find you where you are.
Then we go deep on hormones. Estrogen is queen, with receptors on nearly every cell, which is why perimenopause can feel like a symphony of symptoms—brain fog, eczema, migraines, mood swings, sleep shifts. We discuss testing, lifestyle foundations, and how to think about hormone therapy with nuance rather than fear. Sue also introduces her Midlife Personality Quiz—visionary, inspirational, giver, and detail mamas—so you can lean into strengths and guard against common traps like perfectionism or burnout. We close with a compass that never fails: what would love do, whether love means setting a boundary or taking courageous action.
If you’re ready to stop surviving and start living on purpose, this conversation offers both science-backed steps and soul-level guidance. Listen, share with a friend who needs hope, and tell us: what’s the one shift you’re making this week? Subscribe, leave a review, and help more women find their way to a life they truly love.
Get ready to break free from obstacles and live life on your terms!
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To get a copy of my debut book, "Is Your Way in Your Way", visit https://www.cassandracrawley.com/book
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All my listeners, and I'd like to welcome you to Is Your Way in Your Way. And for my new listeners, that's actually the title of my book. So I'm like, why not have a podcast talking about Is Your Way in Your Way? And we actually talk about topics related to self-improvement, um, maybe business improvement, uh, self-development, and all those types of things. And our topic today is going to be God's greatest gifts come in fascinating packages. I cannot wait to hear that. But before we dive in, I want to remind you that this podcast exists for every woman who's ever stood in her way. Whether it's fear, self-doubt, unfulfillment, being disconnected from your purpose, or the lies we believed for so, so long, it's time to release the blocks and rise into who you were always meant to be. My and today's guest, Dr. Sue McCready, embodies that journey beautifully. Oh, I can't wait. So, from her medical doctor to soul for transformation guide, Sue helps women navigate midlife shifts with grace, science, and deep spiritual wisdom. So, if you're ready to stop surviving and start thriving in your midlife and beyond, this episode is for you. And let me introduce you to Dr. Sue McCready.
Sue:Good day, Dr. Sue. Thank you so much for having me. Oh my gosh, I'm like backstage, like snap, snap. Yeah, yeah, right. I know, I know.
Cassandra:I am so I am so psyched, listeners, about this conversation. And you'll see why as we could as we dive in. So if in fact you were sitting down, you may want to take a journal and write some notes. If you're driving, you know better. But the good thing about it, you can replay this and replay it and replay it, and also share it with your friends or individuals who you believe this will be in their best interest because I know you have some. But before we get started, I like to read Sue's bio only because I want you to get to know her. I want you to understand a little bit about what qualifies her to talk about what we're gonna talk about. So she is a pediatric physician, turned soul full transformation guide to a midlife woman. After navigating her own battles with hormonal imbalance, miscarriages, and identity shifts, she now helps women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s reconnect to their inner compass, what she calls soul for medicine. Soul for medicine, guys. Through a unique blend of science-backed strategies and spiritual tools like tarot and emotional decoding, she empowers women to break free from exhaustion, loneliness, and feeling lost in the grind. And recently, and gently, she reclaims the joy and fulfillment they were made for. Wow, let's dive in, Dr. Sue. Let's tell my listeners, yeah, what was your life like before you became a physician? What was going on with you?
Sue:Well, I am the baby of five. And so there was a lot of, I would say, organized chaos in our family. All right. With mom and dad. And we were definitely a very like um, you know, close family with you know traditions, like uh a very big tradition of ours is, you know, like every Sunday we go to church, you know. So I was raised in like a very faith-based uh household. I'd be remembered my parents, like if I was out for sleep bubbles, they were in that friend's driveway, like tick-tock, so at the time I thought it was very annoying, and now I can see as a parent of three just how foundational that was for me. So I think that's a big part of what was going on before I became a doctor. The other thing is my mom. So my mom is 90 at the time of this recording, and she was a registered nurse, an emergency room registered nurse. And back in the day when you could bring your child to work, including the emergency room, I was following her around the emergency room, and it was really just this pivotal moment of like, mom, wow, I really like this. I'm gonna do what you do. Okay, my mom is a bit if you if you end up taking the personality quiz that we're gonna share. My mom is a visionary mama, she's also a detail mama, but she is like very much wants to call the shots.
Speaker 2:Right, okay.
Sue:Oh so she said very lovingly, don't be because she's a nurse. I said, Mom, I want to be a nurse. She said, Don't be a nurse, be a doctor, don't take the orders, give the orders. Oh, okay, okay. So that just really shifted my path and my and then I was just like, okay, I'm going to med school, you know, and that was a lot easier said than done. So before I became a doctor, I flunked to the MCAT, which is the entrance exam, to become to get into medical school. Oh, essentially, I sort of flunked one portion of it and needed to retake it again in order to get accepted into medical school. And that same mama is standing behind me, just hand on both shoulders while I was grinding away. Like I totally her faith was so strong, you know, where I was doubting myself all over the place. Her faith was just on wavering, like this is gonna happen, no ifs, ands or buts. And sure enough, I got into med school and became and became a doctor. And I thought, um, which makes a lot of sense now that I'm into coaching. I thought I wanted to be a psychiatrist, but once I did those rotations and realized what what psychiatry meant in the medical field, I realized really quickly that wasn't for me. And I've always loved children. So when I was in my pediatric rotation, I was like, oh, I am home. Children make me better, they make me a better person.
Cassandra:Oh, okay. All right. So uh it's kind of like like our title, God's greatest gifts come in fascinating packages, and we will talk about that a little more. So, what qualifies you to do the work that you're currently doing? Or let me ask you this: are you still a pediatrician?
Sue:I am actually, I am still practicing. Yes.
Cassandra:Okay, wow, you have a big job. You know, because I want to know what's empowers you to uh with women to break free from that exhaustion and that loneliness and feeling lost in the grind. What qualifies you to do that type of work?
Sue:Well, I think probably the biggest qualifier is I've been working with moms in my pediatric practice for over two decades. So I think at the time of this recording, I'm in my 23rd or fourth year of practice, which is crazy. It's also means that I've worked with thousands of mamas. Like I've I've worked in, you know, being present and helping them navigate often very painful, uncomfortable, sticky situations, right? So I think that's probably my biggest qualifier. Um, and also that I'm a midlife woman as well, and mother of three. And it was really the moms of my practice, honestly, Cassandra, that that helped me navigate my pathway in terms of how to help them, because they always got them. What about me? How can you help me? What about me, Dr. Sue? And I was like, oh, I don't want to do functional medicine for adults, and so I try to pivot all these different ways. And actually, this is my sixth entrepreneurial journey, the coaching business, and the fifth way of me being able to serve these mamas. So believe me, I have been around the block on figuring out ways in terms of how I can best serve them. And this was the one where you know, where you land on something, I was like, wow, this is my second calling. This is my lane. I'm in my lane. Like this is what you know, God called me to do here. Okay, you know, because it's just like comes really effortlessly and easily, and um, it's so fun.
Cassandra:Really? Oh, that's great. Wow. But I, you know, tell us about the messy process of becoming who you are today.
Sue:Tell us about that. So, probably the messiest process and how God's greatest gift came to me and fascinating a package is multiple miscarriages. So, right around the time when I was finishing my training as a pediatric physician, I was also getting married. I was actually the chief resident at that time, which is like I finished my pediatric residency training. I was in kind of this administrative teaching role, right?
Speaker 2:Okay.
Sue:And I just was recently married, and I thought, get married, have kids. Like that's that. So my expectation was once you get married, our intention is to have kids, then you get to have kids. And so that's not how it rolled for us. How it rolled is that I actually had three miscarriages before having our first daughter. And that was really, I feel like when um I don't know how else to explain it, but I felt like my my spiritual growth was like a foot on the pedal, like it really accelerated then because it was so painful to have these losses. Like all I wanted to just have a baby of our own to love, you know. And I had these really fascinating conversations with God. I was really teed off. Like I remember this one run, and I was just yelling and blurting, like I was pissed. I was so angry. Like I've devoted my life to kids, I'm helping kids heal naturally. Like, give me that child.
Cassandra:Like it was almost like now. Uh-huh.
Sue:Now. Right, that's right. And it didn't happen that way. But I have to say, what I learned through the process was so many ways of alternative healing. First of all, that that brought me to better help the kids that I'm now helping, you know, which is translated into hundreds and thousands of children that I've been able to help from my learning through my journey of having multiple miscarriages. And that relates to nutrition and something called methylation genetics and things like that. But I've been able to turn that around and be like, because of this, now I can help you because I learned something, I grew through something. Now let me turn that around and help you in your pain.
Cassandra:Okay. Tell us about that, the the um genetic piece. What did you call that?
Sue:It's called it's called methylation genetics, which is um a very common genetic pattern. And I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know that I had it, and that was part of the reason as to why I was miscarrying these babies. But at the time, if you can think about, I mean, this was 22 years ago. So at that time frame, we didn't know that that was part of the piece of the puzzle, and so it was kind of like we were walking in the dark, you know. And um, I had some powerful dreams. Oh, okay. Told me, even though I didn't understand what was going on in my body, I had this very one powerful dream. I don't know if you've ever had an insight in a dream. You just wake up, you wake up from that dream and you're like, I gotta go do that. And the dream was a very powerful dream where I was I was the patient, but I was also on like I the nurse was walking me around as if I was a doctor, but I was like in my I was in that, you know, that patient gown. And the nurse was walking me around to each of these patients and showing me their labs, even though I was a patient, they must have known I was a doctor, and showing me the labs that related to coagulation, like clotting problems. And I realized when I got up from that dream, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm clotting off these babies. I don't know why, but I'm clotting off these babies and I gotta go get started on baby aspirin. I did start on baby aspirin and brought our first child into this world. There was more than that. Like I was also getting receiving acupuncture and all I was I was receiving a lot of support. That but that was like I really love that message that came to me because even though I didn't know embethyi is a process that can lead to clotting, right? So even though I didn't have any process of cognitive understanding of being able to understand that yet, like clear message came through. Go start on baby aspirin sister. And I did.
Cassandra:That's that's a miracle. That's a miracle, yeah. Total miracle, yeah. Yeah, that is, and you know what? I like what you did, and for my listeners, you were determined, you were kind of like your mom, yeah, you know. Um, I want to have a baby, and I don't understand why why I'm not be able to. And and then you had the three miscarriages, and then you had three girls. So three girls. Yeah, and that's amazing. And and because of that, and that's why I say um in this in this podcast, uh, is your way in your way? Because there's certain things that we as women would like, and when it doesn't happen, we give up, or or we we use that and says, Well, maybe it wasn't meant to be, or you know, then you deflate it because things didn't happen. But what you did is number one, you got angry with God, and listeners are not saying angry, I'm not saying that because I've been angry with God. I mean, I have a chapter in my book called The Chair, and I will that's for another podcast, but I was so angry with God, and it was just unbelievable. And once that incident occurred, what I did, then I had a revelation the following day, and for you, you had a dream. I had a dream, so yeah, so God came to you in your dream, right? Yes, and and I can relate to that because God speaks to me through my dreams, so we definitely have some similarities, and that's why we say uh the greatest gifts come in fascinating packages, and your faith really helped you get through this, and that to me is just a blessing. Um, because it kind of helps you, even though you're angry, like, okay, I'm I'm gonna be like my mama, I'm gonna be determined, I'm gonna have this baby, I'm not gonna have any more miscarriages, and then he revealed to you, and that happened for somebody else, you know. Although we go through things, a lot of things that happen to us is not really for us, it's for somebody else, for us to tell the story to them to share that there is hope in that. Wow, now, yes, yes, yeah, my goodness. Now, I want to talk about you talked about a the mind flip question. Okay, now it's a mind flip question that changes everything. Tell us about that mind flip and how my listeners could use that because many of them are stuck and living their best life on their terms, they kind of know what it is, but they just can't seem to get there. So let's talk about that mind flip uh questions.
Sue:So I get to credit this question to one of my mentors that I learned this from, Tony Robbins, and he has this question. It's one of the first questions, you know, when hits the fan, when you're just like when you're getting angry or mad or frustrated. By the way, all emotions, right, are messages, and anger is a great motivator. If you channel that anger in love in the right direction, you are gonna hit somewhere, right? So um so the question is what's great about this? So, like everything is apparently going wrong, which by the way is only our limited view lens, your limited view lens at the time, um, because often your way is in your way. It's just to bear back to you, right? But in these moments, if you can just ask, like, hmm, what's great about this? Yeah, it can really help your mind shift to, well, what's great about this? Like, and I want to say, I know that this isn't, I don't want to say this is just like I I think about that time and I'm in those multiple miscarriages. You know, I wasn't like, hey, what's great about this? You know, I that wasn't that wasn't a tool that I use at that time. I didn't know the tool. Um, however, I do find it really helpful um as to when things I feel like things aren't going my way, right? To just say, well, what's great about this? And I think one of the best answers to what's good about this is that I'm sculpting my soul. That's what I answer. I'm sculpting my soul. I am here sculpting my soul. I am getting that baby ripped. Like I am figuring shit out.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Cassandra:Exactly.
Sue:And it may look messy and it may not look right to me. And also, I believe it's God's way, universe way, source way, whatever you want to say, like it's happening for me, right? It's happening for me and through me for me to turn around and share my gifts and my learnings with someone else. So what's great about this, I think, is a great flip. You can use it anytime in any situation, whether it's health condition, right? Whether it's a challenging relationship, right? Um, whether it's uh difficulty in work, you know, uh it really can be used anywhere. Yeah, you just lean in with curiosity. It's almost like you put your hand, you know, you put your hand on your chin, just lean in and be like, wow, what's great about this?
Cassandra:What's great about this? Right, right. That's interesting, even even in the toughest times, if you can reach yourself, you know, because sometimes I think of times in my life where it was so tough, I couldn't even pray. I didn't want to pray, you know, I don't want to call out to God, but that's interesting, and I will definitely use that. Like, what's what's great about this? And I could use that when um I was starting my podcast. I'm over a hundred and some now.
Sue:Oh, congratulations!
Cassandra:And I was like, I can't do this. What am I gonna say? You know, it was like, oh my gosh, you know, so that was all those limiting beliefs that prevented me from doing what it is that I really wanted to do. So next time I said, Well, what's great about this? And then I could have said, blessing other women, empowering women, yeah, take it off of me and put it on the others. So I like that. It's kind of like a spiritual reframe, very much so. Yeah, yeah.
Sue:Wow, and if you and if you're in the rough and tumble, like maybe you come up with your version of I'm sculpting my soul, I'm growing, you know. Um, something that makes you remember, like to me, I feel like that's why we're here. We're here to sculpt your soul and be love, figure out all the ways of like how to embody love and be love and be loving, right? And be loved, receive love. Okay, yeah.
Cassandra:And if you're not growing, I said you're dead. I mean, that's right. You're right. Like, what why are you here? You know, and I used to ask myself, Well, why am I here? You know, um, but you know, you I read something about you that blew my mind, and it was a moment for me. And one of the things you said is living a life you love, I mean you really love, you start getting to really know yourself intimately, understand who you are, um, your strengths, your quirks, and incredible ways you can authentically make a difference. And that really struck me. And you know, I have an accountability partner. One of our questions we ask each other every week, did you have an aha moment this week? And sometimes I didn't love that about this. And my aha moment when I was reading this comment that you stated was I am living a life now that I really love. I so enjoy empowering women. I'm on this mission to help women to start living their best life on their terms. And when I, because of that mission, you know, I also have a uh a signature program called the Rise Journey, and and and then my program is Rise Beyond Limits to help women get get from where they are to where they want to be. I'm like, wow! And by that, I'm beginning to know who I am. I know what I know what I don't like, I know where my boundaries are, and that's because we are doing what it is that we love to do. Now, if we don't, that's when we get confused, and those those living your life to the fullest, it brings you joy, you know, and that's why you know I'm on this mission to support and empower other women. So I just want to thank you for that because you're living a life you love right now, isn't that correct?
Sue:I am living a life I love a thousand percent. Yeah, that doesn't mean that it's easy, by the way, it's not all rainbows and unicorns, and by the way, I definitely still get in my own way, and that's what I break down every day. I'm like, how are you getting in your way? So let's break it down, let's get in there.
Cassandra:That's right, that's right. So, because you're loving what you're doing, what have you learned differently than you knew before? What what what have you learned about yourself? So much so much.
Sue:I mean, definitely owning my gifts, you know, like I am very too much. I was once in this leadership conference or leadership program or whatever, and the woman said, Sue, I would vote for you, but I think will drown in your tears. Cause I was like so, so emotional. Yeah. So I'm very, um, you know, I'm an empath. I'm very I'm very emotional and I connect very easily. And so, like learning that, you know, sometimes we we kind of know our gifts, but we tend to shut them off because we they're not accepted. They, you know, something happened along the way, right? And so then we kind of shut down our gifts and we start trying to people please and be all these things that we're not, you know. And when I finally came back and just started owning, like, well, that's who I am, you know, I'm kind of this weird, radiant woman. I'm a medical doctor and and who loves tarot numerology. Like, if I can just like own it and say, well, this is what makes you unique and different. That's quirky. That's kind of strange. I don't know how all those things go together. But yet when when you're, you know, you lean in and get curious about seeing how it does, and then God, I feel like God and source have really given me a way to like, well, it's like staring, you're like tarot numerology, it's like staring at an inkblot. You ever seen those things that psychologists use? Stare at the ink blot. What do you see? Like that. It's just it's just a way to access your subconscious, which as you know, controls, you know, the majority of your thoughts and feelings and behaviors and habits and therefore actions and therefore results. So if we don't get underneath there, right? We're just swimming on the surface trying to make change when the vast majority of it is underneath. So really just I think accepting like who I fully am. And by the way, I'm still in the process. I think I'll always be in the process. Yeah.
Cassandra:Absolutely. Absolutely. You're right. It's not always a rainbow.
Sue:It's not always a rainbow. And it's, and you know, also is other, you know, you have other relations, other people coming along with you, right? That are either like, is this all right, or is this not all right? Can I accept this about her too? Or is this just like not okay, right? And so I think that that's really where I've been able to step in and and fully love myself, is I think that's really about living a life you love is about fully loving yourself. And not denying your quirks and your gifts to try to adjust who you are to fit into somebody else's realm. When God made you to be here, to be love in your unique way. And once you own that, you're like, hey, this is pretty freaking fun. Even when it is challenging, it's fun.
Cassandra:Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So, yeah, because to me, authenticity is transformative. You know, when you can take that mask off, those blinders off, and be you. It's amazing. But then, you know, the the the childhood and all the stuff that your experiences, your personal experience, business experience puts those blocks on you, you know, and and that's why, and like like we both said, it's not, hey, it's not easy. I had a friend that used to call my mom a lot, and I remember one day he said, You know, I'm not calling your mom anymore for a while. And I'm like, Why is that? He said, Because she's always happy, and I'm not happy today. And I said, She was probably putting on, she probably wasn't happy either, but she got to put on the happy face and the happy voice because you on the on the line. I said, So don't get it twisted. She's not cool, you know. Um, and if you're always happy to me, something's wrong. Like, what's wrong with that person? And you also, when you get to that spot, you attract things in your life, yes, yeah, like people that are negative and and that energy drawn out of you, they kind of dissipate. I'm like, no, no, no, because they're drawing my energy away from me. So I I love what you said. That was my aha moment, and I can't wait to write that because I have accountability meetings tomorrow.
Sue:Oh, beautiful. Yeah, yeah. I also think like the flip of that, right? Authenticity is magnetic. Like, so one of the things I would do is I'd selectively share myself. I don't know if you've ever done this before. Like, so when you're feeling safe with some peeps, then you'll kind of come out of the closet about something, right? But then over here in this corner, you're like, eh, not sharing that, right? So one of the things I've been calling myself forward to was just get curious, what if you do share? You know, and I remember sharing with someone who I was like, I don't know, we've just had funny kind of conversations. So and he stuck back, he was like, I like this, Dr. Sue. Meaning, like, I like this version of Dr. Sue, the number.
Cassandra:Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Sue:That's such a good reminder for me because you cannot draw the right people in, right? If you're just not showing them who you Truly are. I think that's just been one of the biggest lessons I continue to learn.
Cassandra:Right. And and people know if you're perpetrating the fraud. I mean, I do. I can sense it. Like, oh, they're not. No, I don't believe what they're saying. Yeah, right. Wow. You talked about how important coaching was to midlife women. It's important. Why is that?
Sue:I think of midlife, I don't know how you think about it, but I think of as this transition. There was a lot of identity shifting happening. I remember saying, so I'm the baby of five. So to my oldest sister, I was like, How is this like menopause thing? And I think it was like, and here I am a doctor. I'm like, I haven't got in a year or two. She's like, Sue, it's like adolescence.
Speaker 2:Hi.
Sue:Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It's like a span, a span of years. And so I really started to shift and think about, you know, that's why I think coaching is so supportive during this time. Because at this time, you may be, you know, in your 40s, 50s, and 60s, maybe shifting about what you want to do for work. Like what you used to do felt great, but now of a sudden it's like not feeling so great. It's not a great fit anymore. Or you may be, you know, in your 50s and 60s or wherever, and your kids are now out of the house. And a lot of like, well, who am I if I'm not a mom in the mom way that my kids are home all the time, right? And so you start really figuring out other parts of your identity. And we have so all of us have so many parts. We're not just one thing, you know, we're we're many things. And so really getting curious about how to live authentically and kind of cultivate that sustainable happiness, not just like the fleeting joy when your kids come home and then you're happy and then they leave. And then you're looking at maybe this partner that you're not a little disconnected from, you know. I don't know. There's endless. So there's definitely relationships, you know, in terms of even those changing, right? That's a big if you've been, you know, raising kids together, and then your kids leave, and then you're with this partner, and you're like, huh, I kind of like it when the kids are around more. Right. Exactly.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Sue:Those type of things, yeah, those type of things I think can just be really supportive to have kind of a shifting perspective. Because I feel like in coaching, to me, it is really just about asking, get leaning in, getting curious, and asking questions, right? More than anything else. And also helping you identify patterns because, like we like to say in coaching, it's not you, it's just a pattern, right? It's just a pattern of you that's in your way, right? So if you want to change, you get to change the pattern, right? See the pattern, use the pattern, create a new pattern. So see the pattern, like, wow, that's not working for me right now. Used to work in childhood, it used to help me draw, survive, and receive love, you know, be loved, but that is just not working for me anymore, right? And I love that moment when they're like, Oh my gosh, because my dad was like this, I'm projecting that at my work environment, you know, and it's just like all the light bulbs go out. Because once you can see it, then you can actually get the pattern to you, like use the pattern for you rather than getting hooked around by the pattern, right? And then step in and create a new pattern. Now that you see it, you're like, wow, what do I want to create with this? This is powerful stuff.
Cassandra:Yeah, I know. Awareness is key, recognizing it, calling it out. It's so, it's so key. Um, you mentioned over the past five years, you got thousands of midlife women through personal growth, transformation, um, using proven research-backed techniques combined with real support. What type of proven um research research techniques have you used?
Sue:Oh, well, I mean, so so many. I think a lot of my frameworks have been, you know, um in from Tony Robbins, is a big mentor of mine, and he's had Stanford actually research um some of his works and frameworks. And, you know, oh my gosh, there's so many. I'm trying to think about one of them that I absolutely love and I think is about six human needs psychology and the framework that all of us share, six the same six human needs, yeah, but we all prioritize them differently, and we all have ways of meeting those needs differently. And so if you want to be in a relationship with somebody, you get to meet their top two needs. You get to lean in and get curious about like what are your top two needs, right? And and and ways that you can meet them. And so without getting into all the specifics of that, that alone, like that framework, which has been, you know, he's shown and developed that framework. He's been using that framework for probably over 40 years across the globe with millions. So um, and you know, I think that that's one of the most powerful frameworks where people are like, huh, you know, and they really start to again, they're able to separate themselves so that they can see this, these are my top two needs, this is this person's top two needs, and this is why this isn't meshing, right? Or even in terms of your own life. Like if you look in terms of your own life, like what are your top driving needs, right? And you'll see if you want to shift into a new pattern, you might need to reprioritize your needs. And one of the biggest needs that people prioritize top is the need for certainty, the need for control, the need to feel comfortable, safe, right? And if you put that on top of every other of the needs, which are the needs to have variety and significance and love and connection and growth and contribution, you are gonna have a very different life than someone who puts growth at the top.
Cassandra:Exactly. That is so true. That is so true. Uh-huh.
Sue:Um, so that's one of the proven frameworks that I use.
Cassandra:Okay, that's good. That's good because they really have to think about what are my two top needs, you know. In some instances, we did an exercise at my church about what's your love language. Yeah, you know, so it's good to know that what's their temperament, you know, things of that nature. So, okay, I like that. I want to talk a little bit about hormones. Um the reason I want to talk about that because I also have a chapter in my book about hormones. Oh how the hormones are no joke. That's what I'll say. Um and and every one woman experiences them a little differently, you know. We talk about menopause and um post menopause, all of that kind of stuff. Why, from your perspective as a medical doctor, even though you're in pediatrics and and kids have hormones too, but what's so unique about hormones? Why are they important to know about, especially in midlife?
Sue:What's the impact? I think one of the most profound things I learned from a holistic gynecologist that I was interviewing for one of my summits at the time. And she, you know, she said estrogen is on every there are estrogen receptors on every single cell in your body, which means estrogen can affect every single system of your body, it is a master hormone and it declines during menopause, right? And she had this fascinating analogy, which I just I was like, that's so brilliant. But basically, she thinks of you know, well, I won't get into it, but basically that's why I think I think that's why I feel like it's so I mean, if it's a if it's on every cell of your body in the physical world, estrogen is queen, yeah, she is important.
Cassandra:That's right.
Sue:Very and if you don't figure out how to support this queen uh you know during your lifetime, which is what her point was like this isn't just like, oh, we got to this period, and now like let me run in and support you. The point was you best be supporting her all along the way with your diet and lifestyle. You're probably gonna have an easier transition through menopause if you are, and you're not gonna feel like you fell off a cliff, right? Yeah, um, and so it was really my talk with her. It's like, huh. It's like that's it's such a great way to see it and really give it um the stardom that it deserves, basically. You know, it's on every single cell that makes an affect every single system, your cardiovascular, your nervous system, your digestive system, obviously your hormonal system, right?
Cassandra:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanted to bring that up a bit because I I dived off a cliff. Um and it was very painful, and I had no clue what was wrong with me. I'm like, I am losing my mind, and that's why I wanted to bring that up in a book because you you get foggy. Um but every woman's not like this, but there's some women that just feel down, lifeless, you know. And I always say, get your hormone levels checked. Because you're right, estrogen is queen, estrogen is life that gives you that vitality, you know, you draw people to you because you're feeling good, and then even um testosterone, even though men have it, that could be you're not feeling as confident, you know. That's why they feel all confident and everything, and then you have that progesterone. So I always tell individual just to get your levels checked, and it's good from a holistic doctor because a lot of doctors don't believe in it, they're like, Oh, yes, yeah, yeah.
Sue:And it's kind of gotten the bad rap, which is part of what our discussion was on. And like there, I had another doctor on that debunked the whole thing, and there's it takes a long time to debunk something that you know that's been around for a while, but there was a lot of flaws with that initial research, right in terms of hormonal replacement therapy, right? Yeah, and yeah, so I I love supporting my hormones, it's been a huge help for me. And I like I like the yeah, some people are foggy, some people get eczema, simple just start to have allergies. Like the whole list is like everything. I remember the joke was I get a new symptom and I'd text my OBJan friend, and she'd be like, Yep, that's menopause. I was like, Oh my god, everything is everything, everything, and it makes sense because with the other doctors saying, Yeah, it's on every single cell in your body, so it can affect every single system from your immune system with allergies, right? And I was like, This is like a funny joke on women. I was honestly like, I was like, this is crazy, you know. Um, and so I've been I I've worked with a physician who does believe in hormone testing and hormone replacement, and and even with that, you know, it was kind of a wild ride because your hormones are in you know, during perimenopause, they're really hard to like target therapy because they're kind of still like jumping up and down, right? And then you get to the sides even out. So even with that, it can be a little, a little testy of a ride.
Cassandra:Yeah, it can. Even you know, women have said my hair is falling out, hormones, you know, just you don't know what you don't know. I'm getting migraines all the time, exactly hormones, exactly. So I just you know wanted to expose that to my listeners, it's a possibility, and to get that chat.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Cassandra:So important, yeah. It really is. Now we have one more question. Well, first of all, um I love well, listeners. Dr. Sue has what you call a midlife personality quiz. And I would like for you to share with your with my listeners where you can find that quiz and what can you find out about the quiz.
Sue:Yes, so you can go to dr Sue McCready.com and you it'll say right there, take the quiz. Then you can push that button and answer 11 questions. And what you'll find out is your strength. So to sum this up, I kind of bucket midlife mamas into four categories the visionary mama, the inspirational mama, the giver mama, and the detail mama. And the visionary mama, I think of Beyonce. She'd be like twirl on them haters. You know, she's got her, she's going somewhere, she's got her vision and she's going. Um, you know, the downfall of some visionaries is they can have rough and tumble with relationships because you know, they've got a vision and they might just plow some people over in the way to get there. Right, you know, then the inspirational mamas are what they sound like, they're inspirational. They are they see the glasses half full, right? The problem, their downfall is like everything looks great. Shiny objects are everywhere, so they can get very distracted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right.
Sue:And then the giver mamas, like it sounds like they're the givers, they're like the mama of all mamas. We all have those in our lives, hopefully. You know, the person you just go to and you just bury your head in there. They're like they just wrap your arms around their giving to them is as easy as breathing. The downfall of the giver mama is she can become a doormat, you know, like people step on her, you know, she's like, Why not resentful? Why are you resentful? Because boundaries, girl, boundaries, right? And then the detail mama, I love the detail mamas because they I surround myself with details. Like I say, the divine is in the details, the divine is in the details. And if you aren't looking at those details, down to your eyes, crossing your T's, getting into the spreadsheets, looking at the details of life, you may miss a pattern, uh like a big pattern.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Sue:Um, and so though the detail mamas, they're like the spreadsheet makers, they're the people who are like, listen up, Sue, you're going here, you're picking up this group here, and you're taking them there. You know, they're just like they got it all together. Um, the downfall of the detail mama is perfectionism. They're so busy crossing, totting their I's and crossing their T's, they may not get off the starting block. You know, it's never quite good enough, right?
Speaker 2:Right. Right.
Sue:So getting in there and learning, you know, and the truth is, Cassandra, we all have all parts of these to us, right? But we tend to like hang out and hover in one or two. And so once you learn what your gifts are, you can really accentuate your gifts and highlight some key problem areas. And then, like, I like I'm an inspirational mama. So my downfall, biggest downfall is details. So I hire detailed people. I have my VA who does all the techie stuff, right? I have a business coach and consultant who is a detail mama. I I hire these people so that I'm surrounded by them, you know, and that helps, you know, I learn through them. So I grow that as well, but I don't, I don't try to take their their beauty as like, and that's a big thing about what I love of all the mamas coming together, as you know, in your community, right? Like to me, that's where the magic is. Yeah, because you'll just have each of us like calling each other forward, like you know, Sue, get a plan, follow it, let's go, you know.
Cassandra:Yeah, okay. I love that. Um, my listeners out there, just so you'll know whether you care or not, I'm a detail mama. And I already know my my fault is perfectionism, everything has to be right, but I just encourage you to take that personality quiz. Uh, as Dr. Sue indicated, we all have pieces of it within ourselves, but yet it's fascinating to me. And I just also we're gonna have to wrap up this podcast, unfortunately, for me, because I'm enjoying this conversation. Dr. Sue, is there anything you want to share with the listeners that are stuck? They know what it is that to live their best life on the attendance, but they're struggling getting there. Any advice?
Sue:I think my biggest advice, I this is another question I like to ask, is in that moment, like when you're sitting there and maybe you're stuck or you're overwhelmed or you're scared or whatever, like kind of disempowering place you're in. I like to ask the question, what would love do? Like if you were to embody love, because I believe our natural essence and our natural state is love. Like we really know that's why it feels so comfy when we're in a loving state. That's why it feels beautiful and expanding when we're in a loving state. Um, and it's not a contracted place because usually in those contracted places when we're stuck or overwhelmed or scared or fearful, we're in a fear-based state. The opposite is is love. So just getting curious and asking, what would love do? Because love, love, like I don't you probably can rip off the scripture, but it's a lot of things, right?
Speaker 2:Right.
Sue:And sometimes love lays down some serious boundaries, yeah. Right? Sometimes love is like opening up and getting vulnerable. Sometimes love says, give yourself more grace, you're being too hard on yourself, you know. So I think the possibilities are endless. So that's what I would recommend.
Cassandra:Yeah, that's good. Love is the greatest, it is the greatest. Well, Dr. Sue McCready, I want to thank you. Um you are so right, God's greatest gifts come in fascinating packages, and I am so grateful for all the nuggets uh which you're bringing to the world. I am glad you're in a good place and you're living your best life. That's a beautiful thing. And listeners, as I always say to you, and I said in the beginning, please share this podcast with individuals that you know this will be a blessing, particularly those who've had miscarriages, and just to hear what Dr. McCready said about that. Uh, just the faith had so much to do with that as well. And I again thank you. And as I always say to my listeners, God bless you. God bless you, Dr. McCready. And bye for now. Thank you so much, all of you.
Sue:Thank you.