Breaking Free: Dismantling Your Inner Barriers

Ever found yourself stuck in patterns you can't seem to break? Maybe it's procrastination, toxic relationships, or simply not pursuing dreams you know you want. What if these patterns aren't character flaws but symptoms of limiting beliefs formed during childhood?

In this transformative conversation with Blake Lefkoe, we explore how the invisible beliefs we formed as children continue to dictate our adult behaviors and emotions. Blake shares her remarkable journey from addiction and unfulfillment to creating a balanced, purposeful life through eliminating limiting beliefs using the Lefkoe Method—a powerful approach developed by her father.

The most common limiting belief? "I'm not good enough." This seemingly simple thought drives countless behaviors, from perfectionism to procrastination, overachievement to self-sabotage. But what makes the Lefkoe Method revolutionary is that these beliefs can be permanently eliminated—not just managed or talked through.

Blake explains the profound simplicity of the process: when we realize that events themselves don't have meaning (we assign meaning through our interpretations), we can free ourselves from the emotional and behavioral patterns these beliefs create. Clients often experience dramatic shifts in just a few sessions, with the belief completely gone—no daily maintenance or affirmations required.

Perhaps most powerful is Blake's practical tool you can start using today: When something upsets you, ask "What meaning am I giving this event?" and explore alternative interpretations. This simple practice reveals how our interpretations—not external reality—create our emotional responses.

Ready to break free from the beliefs holding you back? Connect with Blake through her website to discover how eliminating limiting beliefs could unlock your full potential and create lasting transformation in your life.

Get ready to break free from obstacles and live life on your terms!

Are you readdy to create and design your best life?

If so, click the link here.

To make sure you never miss an episode, make sure you subscribe to the podcast and head on over to www.cassandracrawley.com and join our mailing list. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs
• 7:18 Blake's Transformative Journey from Addiction
• 13:53 The Science of Belief Formation
• 23:05 The Lefkoe Method Process Explained
• 36:05 Childhood Beliefs and Adult Patterns
• 44:27 Tools for Changing Perspective and Meaning
• 51:19 Final Thoughts and Moving Forward

Transcript

Cassaandra: 0:25

Welcome to Is Your Way in Your Way podcast. Many of you are aware that the name of my podcast is the name of my book. It's the Is your Way, in your Way. It's a self-discovery guide for women on how to restore yourself, learn from the experiences that you've had and start becoming your true self, and this podcast is actually about empowering women to unlock their full potential.

Cassaandra: 0:47

There are a lot of things that kind of stop us. We get stuck. We know there's certain things that we should be doing, but we just can't seem to get out of them. For example, like in maybe a toxic relationship, you may want to write a book, you may want to be a coach, you may want to change jobs. It's just a number of things that's preventing you from what I'm calling living your best life on your terms, and we talk about topics related to instances like self-improvement, personal improvement, just something that I always am prayerful that there will be something on this podcast one of my podcasts that will give you like an epiphany, and you're just like. You know what I can do this Today.

Cassaandra: 1:36

I'm going to stop the madness and I'm going to start living my best life on my terms, because many of you know what that looks like. You just haven't executed it yet, and my special guest today's name is Blake Lefkoe, and we're going to talk about breaking free from limiting beliefs. I am super excited about this because I have, and had, so many limiting beliefs, and that's why it took me forever to write a book, and that's something that I always wanted to do. So let me introduce you to hello, blake Lefkoe. How are you today?

Blake Lefkoe: 2:11

I'm wonderful. Thanks so much for having me.

Cassaandra: 2:14

Yeah, I am so glad you are on, girl. Hey, before I brought Blake into the orange room this is the orange room, you know I was telling her about some of my limiting beliefs and she was like, well, hey, why don't you book a session with me? So this will be very interesting. So, as we go through this process and this podcast today, this is something that you may want to do as well, because I believe many of us have limiting beliefs. So, blake, before we delve into our questions, I want to share with the listeners a little bit about your background. I want to give them a little history on you so they can say what qualifies her to do what she's doing. So let me just read a little bit.

Cassaandra: 2:57

Blake is dedicated to helping people transform their lives by breaking free from the beliefs that hold them back. She is a facilitator of the lefkoe method, a powerful process that was developed by her father that helps people eliminate beliefs that keep people stuck and their unwanted emotional and behavioral patterns. After going on her own transformative journey, overcoming addiction and rediscovering the method, she's now passionate about guiding others to live healthier, happier lives, aligned with their true passion and values, from helping clients break unhealthy patterns to creating a life of fulfillment for herself. She is here to share her wisdom on living authentically and with purpose, so let's again welcome Blake. Welcome again, blake. Thank you, cassandra. Hey, listen, before you started the Lefkoe method and we'll talk about what that is and where that came from. What was your life like, what was your backstory and where that came from? What was your life like? What was?

Blake Lefkoe: 4:11

your backstory. So as a child, I grew up in a house with two parents that were in the personal growth, personal development field, and that was just the conversation at dinner and that was what they did. They both worked in the house and I kind of just do what a lot of children do when they're brought up in something and I just kind of rebelled against it. I was like, well, I'm not gonna look at my stuff, I'm just gonna go out and live a really fun life and um, that kind of fun, hedonistic life eventually turned into an uh, unfulfilling, unsustainable life.

Blake Lefkoe: 4:47

The drinking and the partying became just more a part of life. It became more of a darkness than a light. I woke up in my late teens. I was a single mom just getting out of another silly relationship just unsustainable, not healthy and I was bartending and I was drinking a lot. I was just not taking care of myself, not taking as good care of myself as I could have been.

Blake Lefkoe: 5:24

And, yeah, I literally woke up one morning and I was going through a breakup and my back was out and I couldn't be in the ocean what really brings me the most joy and I was hungover, been on this bender, and I was like I just can't do this anymore, like I'm unfulfilled. This is unsustainable. I deserve better. My kid deserves better. And I started a process to transform my life and one of the main tools that I used was the Lefkoe method and I was so fortunate that I had this tool available to me and I was able to start working on myself and, through eliminating beliefs, I was able to break free of these patterns. I got sober, I got out of the restaurant industry after three decades, which is not the easiest thing to do. I was able to take all the trainings and get certified and start my own business.

Blake Lefkoe: 6:23

And I do something now. That is just immensely fulfilling. That is just immensely fulfilling. I get to help other people on their journeys and on their paths and find what they love doing and how they're able to have more of it in their life and to be free from the things that they're doing that aren't working and they want less of.

Blake Lefkoe: 6:43

I have been able to find a balance, which is something that I never even understood and have, but a balance of working and being in the ocean and having time with my son and having time for myself and taking care of myself and doing my work and really finding a healthy balance that works for me.

Cassaandra: 7:14

Now, do you call that? Is that this thing they call work-life balance?

Blake Lefkoe: 7:20

I would imagine. So yeah.

Cassaandra: 7:23

So tell us what work, because we hear work-life balance all the time. I remember working and I was burnt out and I was like I just need some work-life balance. What would you? How would you define that?

Blake Lefkoe: 7:37

I make sure that I have time to get in the ocean almost every day and, depending on the because I do wind sports and then I do sports where you don't want wind, because I do wind sports and then I do sports where you don't want wind so I look at the forecast and I'm able to schedule my sessions throughout the week According to the ocean conditions.

Blake Lefkoe: 7:59

I'm able to be off work when my son gets home from school. I'm able to drive him to every baseball practice and every baseball game. I'm able to have time for my partner. I'm start my sessions, you know, at 8 30 in the morning, so I have time to stretch and do like a morning routine that you know works for me and it's just, it's been really incredible to just find balance in general to learn when, oh yeah, today I've got, you know, some more people wanted to see me. So I'm gonna have more calls and I'm gonna skip today and then tomorrow I'll take a little extra time, whatever that looks like. Yeah, just having to everyone and every part of me that needs time and energy in my life to have that for them.

Cassaandra: 8:56

Yeah, blake. Now you know, when I first said that, you know this is for women. It's all about, you know, unlocking those barriers as preventing individuals from living their best life, those barriers that's preventing individuals from living their best life. How do you know? How do you help your client figure out what that looks like? Like you talked about the balance and how, how like, for example, when you were bartending and drinking, and you know that was probably all part of what you're doing today. I'm sure that had a lot to do with why you pivoted and started doing what you're doing. How did you know what your best life looked like? Because, listening to you, you sound like you are living your best life right now on your terms. So how did you know what that was? And, by the way, audience, she lives in Hawaii, so that's why she's able to go out there and surf and get in that ocean, and which is a beautiful place. So tell us, how is one able to figure that out?

Blake Lefkoe: 9:57

Yeah, so when my clients come to me, we first establish a pattern.

Blake Lefkoe: 10:03

So whether it's a behavioral or an emotional pattern, right? So what's something you're doing? You don't want to be doing something, you're doing that. You want to be doing something. You're doing that. You want to be doing that. You're not. There can be anxiety, fear, like you were talking about toxic relationships. Oh, I want to write a book, but I can't sit down. Oh, I want to do this, but I'm not. I'm working all the time. I keep saying I want to work less, but I don't. So, whatever that pattern looks like, okay.

Blake Lefkoe: 10:29

And once that's really established, we look at what are the beliefs that contribute to that pattern. So a good example of that is procrastination, very common pattern that people come to me with. So oftentimes, when people procrastinate, they have beliefs like I'm not good enough, nothing I do will be good enough, mistakes and failures are bad, if I make a mistake, I'll be rejected. So you know beliefs like these. And then we go through this process and, one at a time, actually eliminate the beliefs and and it's so profound because there's no tricks there's no. Oh, I have to remember to think this way, or I have to switch my perspective. Oh, I have to remember to think this way. Or I have to switch my perspective or I have to remember this tool or the skill, or I have to catch myself Like you're literally nullifying the triggers.

Blake Lefkoe: 11:18

The beliefs actually go away and sometimes clients will be like no, no, I know that's not true, because you know this and that, or you know this, and. But if you have to convince yourself that you don't have a belief, you have it, because people don't have affirmations in the morning that think they're beautiful. You don't have to tell yourself I'm beautiful. If you think that, it's just anytime. You are putting energy towards talking yourself out of a belief, telling yourself it's true or why on some level you have that, and when that belief goes away, there's no more energy spent talking yourself out of it, because it's gone, it doesn't exist anymore, and so that's one of the really amazing things about this work is it causes permanent, profound changes and as the beliefs go away, the patterns just shift organically. You don't have to do anything. And it's wild because sometimes they shift in a way that people don't even realize like people will come in like, oh, how was your week, you know?

Blake Lefkoe: 12:27

and like, oh, you know it's good this, and that I'm like you know how was your week, you know, and like, oh, you know it was good this, and that I'm like you know, do you notice anything? And they're like, no, you know it was, it was okay. And I was like, well, you know were you? Were you procrastinating? Was it really hard for you to sit at your desk? And they'll be like no, I actually. You know, I filled my course and I did that advertising and I sent out that email blast and you know I posted on social media every day for my business and I did. And then all of a sudden they'll be like, oh my gosh, I got so much done. Oh wow, sometimes it's just so natural that they don't even they realize you gotta stop right now and they're like wow.

Blake Lefkoe: 13:03

And there are people that also come in and they're like oh my god, you're never gonna believe how much I got done and how easy it was. They couldn't believe it and it was amazing. But the shift it just happens so effortlessly. And there's just such beauty in that.

Cassaandra: 13:19

Yeah, oh my gosh, that sounds incredible. Listen now. You said your family. You know they were big on personal growth and I understand that the leftkoe method is from your dad. It's your dad who founded this. Is that correct?

Blake Lefkoe: 13:37

Yeah, so he created the belief process when I was a child and my mom kind of. Uh, he showed to my mom and she was like this is why I've been put on this earth. So she's been working with clients for 35 years. They have the Lefkoe Institute. They have courses that teach people how to become a facilitator. Uh, they have a certification program and, yeah, it's. It's really kind of a bittersweet thing for me because when he died I was still in a really unhealthy relationship. I was still drinking, I was bartending, I really wasn't doing much with my life, right, but the amazing thing was he had worked on himself so much that he was so proud of me and he trusted that I would do whatever I needed to do to live the life the way I thought it should be lived. And every time my mom would be like, oh, but she's drinking so much and she's this, just trust her. Just trust her. Like he knew that everything would be fine and even when it wasn't fine, it was still fine for him.

Cassaandra: 14:49

Okay.

Blake Lefkoe: 14:51

You know, he really loved me so unconditionally.

Cassaandra: 14:58

Excuse us. That's, that's my, that's my um and he wants to come in and I, you know, just so you'll know, blake, my um audience, many of them know him because every now and then he decides that he wants to intervene. Yeah, I apologize.

Blake Lefkoe: 15:23

Yeah, so so he you know he he always loved me unconditionally and gave me support, and I wish that I had found this earlier because it would have been amazing to talk to him. Yeah about this yes, there's other processes that he's created. Uh, one of my favorite is like a stimulus process. So every time this trigger happens, you feel this emotion. So anytime someone criticizes you, you feel fear. Anytime someone yells at you, you feel guilt, right, whatever it is. Yeah, really simple process that that breaks that stimulus, from that emotion.

Blake Lefkoe: 15:59

Yeah easy from that. So it's kind of kept creating these processes and he really he didn't just walk the walk Like when he died. Nothing triggered him, nothing upset him. He really kind of got to this idea of like the premise of the work is that events have consequences. Consequences are real, but they don't have meaning. Right, events in and of themselves don't have meaning when we give them a meaning by creating this belief. That's what causes our emotion, that's what causes our thoughts, that's what causes our behaviors.

Blake Lefkoe: 16:44

And he got into this headspace where he was able to just not give things meaning and they were like you're dying of stage four cancer. And he was like okay, I don't know for sure, I don't know I'm going to die tomorrow. I don't know that I'm going to die in 10 years, like it just doesn't mean anything. I don't know anything because that is happening, there's consequences, I might feel sick, I might have to do this treatment. He wasn't in denial, but he didn't affect him emotionally. And I remember when he was dying and he looked at me and he was like gosh, blake, I'm so sorry. It's got to be so hard to watch someone you love suffer and know that they're not going to be here.

Blake Lefkoe: 17:44

He was literally dying of cancer, comforting me Like, like that, just the energetic kind of level he had reached. Yeah, it was so inspiring. You know, it's so amazing to just see somebody yeah this to to the extreme and and be able to live a life where things just didn't trigger him anymore.

Cassaandra: 18:07

Blake. What inspired him to do what he did? Something I think maybe triggered that.

Blake Lefkoe: 18:18

He was really depressed a lot of his life. My mom was his third wife. He had a really traumatic, hard childhood, Grew up in poverty and I think he was. He didn't remember a lot but I think he was in foster care for a little while and had a dad who would like had money and left and just never supported him or his mom and he was just very needy and depressed.

Blake Lefkoe: 18:45

And he got an airplane one day and kind of took himself through this process that he discovered, and he was able to eliminate a belief and realized, oh my gosh, you know, my depression is a source of my beliefs. And he started getting rid of these beliefs and he was able to, you know, get out of depression and what it was amazing is my life. I could not picture my dad depressed because he was so full of light and life. Just change the world and to help people, so I can't imagine him being depressed.

Blake Lefkoe: 19:25

And so he was a consultant and he was doing really well and he wasn't home and he was like I want to be there to watch my daughter grow up. And when he discovered this process, he threw in the towel and he started his own business. And you know, in the beginning, starting the business being a successful consultant, they went bankrupt and all this craziness, but he was my path and he stuck to it. Yeah, to change so many lives.

Cassaandra: 19:58

Yeah, you know, I ask that because and and there are always going to be trials and tribulations in our lives and I'm under the belief that we get stuck or we know there's certain things that we want to do, but it's difficult and a lot, I believe, has to do with our childhood. Our childhood dictates who we are as an adult childhood. Our childhood dictates who we are as an adult, and when I say that I'm like it has to be something to break that, I want my audience to know. If your dad did it, if you did it, if you were addicted and you were not living a fulfilled life and you knew what, you got to a point where you were sick and tired and I know a lot of my listeners are just sick and tired of being in some of these situations that they're in but and that's why this podcast is about, because you don't have to be and I'm always hopeful that there's someone on here like yourself can talk through that process and what are some things to mitigate those limiting beliefs?

Blake Lefkoe: 21:07

you know so. So the the process that I do is you go back to your childhood, right? So, for example, the most common belief that people have in their first session that we work on is I'm not good enough to go back to your childhood. You know, you're four or five, six years old and all you want to know is why, right, why is dad not home? Why is this happening? Why am I being criticized? Why is and we don't have the mental capacity to be like oh, you know, my dad's an alcoholic and he doesn't have the emotional intelligence or he's not present enough to treat me this way because he's drunk or you know, my dad's working all the time because he's trying to pay for my food and my housing, whatever Right, my dad doesn't know how to show love because nobody showed him love.

Blake Lefkoe: 21:55

My dad's shut down. Whatever it is. You know what it's me? It's I'm not good enough, or there's something wrong with me.

Blake Lefkoe: 22:03

You know a report card and so to think hey, great job on the A's, you know what's report card. And so to think, hey, great job on the A's, you know what's happening in math. Math is really hard. How can we support you to do better? You're like what's wrong? Like why did you get a C, why isn't this an A Right? You clean your room and they're like, well, what about the closet? You go, oh, it's not good enough. So, whatever that looks like, and it's different for everybody, but once you give those events that meaning, that becomes your truth, your thoughts, behaviors, right, and that, once you gave it that meaning, then it was your truth and your life was consistent with it, because those events aren't happening anymore. Right, our traumas are, for the most part, right, they're in the past, but we're still operating basically as a victim of those traumas, because we're carrying the beliefs we formed from those through our life.

Blake Lefkoe: 23:10

And there's beliefs like I'm not safe and feel anxiety and they're no longer in that abusive household, but they know, but they still don't feel safe or they're now another abusive household because they have beliefs like I'm not worthy and I'm not deserving and relationships don't work and trustworthy or whatever it is. So by eliminating those beliefs, you literally give yourself freedom from your traumas, from your childhood, from these patterns that you've been living. And when you get rid of the beliefs, the patterns can change and you can free yourself from those patterns, from those emotions, from that negative talk, that constant.

Cassaandra: 23:54

Yes.

Blake Lefkoe: 23:55

Good enough, and no one's going to like you and da da da right, and it's just so, so freeing. Yeah, because we're not in that childhood anymore. No one's hitting, no one's screaming at us. We're not experiencing these things, but we still have the emotions because we form the beliefs that we're still carrying with us. And one of my favorite things about this work is subconsciously, as children, we form beliefs like I'm not good enough is subconsciously as children.

Blake Lefkoe: 24:27

We form beliefs like I'm not good enough. Then what happens is, for example, you know, you get straight A's, you win the spelling bee, you make the all-star team and you get that affirmation. You get that oh good job, honey, we're so proud of you, and you go oh, I see, the way to be good enough is to achieve.

Cassaandra: 24:44

Yes.

Blake Lefkoe: 24:45

Then that becomes your life, and every time you want to rest, you want to go on vacation, you want to do something, you there's that voice and you go. You have to achieve, you have to achieve. You have to achieve because you feel like your survival depends on it. That's what makes you okay. Get rid of the belief I'm not good enough. You can get rid of the belief I'm not good enough. You can get rid of the survival strategy. What makes me good enough is achieving, being successful, having people think well of me. Whatever that is, it doesn't mean you stop achieving. It means you now have a choice. What do you want to do? Right, Like you're saying, living your true self, Like what is authentic to me. Is it more important for me to go to my kids baseball game or to have that meeting? And I don't know? There's no right answer. But you are now the freedom to choose and that survival belief is no longer running you.

Cassaandra: 25:44

Right.

Blake Lefkoe: 25:46

Just so free. Yeah People their lives back.

Cassaandra: 25:51

Yeah, let's. Let's talk about some examples. I'm going to use myself for an example. I always, for years, wanted to write a book and I struggled with that. I didn't. It was like, ok, I don't want people to know about me, you know. You know I don't want, and it wasn't that, it wasn't about not being good enough, or maybe it is. Maybe you'll say, that's it.

Cassaandra: 26:21

I'm like, well, what are they going to say about me? You know, I don't want to put my business out in the street, and what I did was I procrastinated, you know. Just like you know you talked about it. Also, I'm a perfectionist. Everything has to be just right, you know, and I don't want anybody to see that I didn't do this really good. I was, and it took me, I know, 10 to 12 years and then one day, during COVID, I sat down and I started writing my book, and so I'm not sure how I got over those beliefs. But I'd like for you to tell us how. When you say, just change your belief, how do you do that? Do you just say I'm good enough, or this is going to help other people? Or how do people get out of that conundrum like over and over and over? You know that pattern.

Blake Lefkoe: 27:15

Well, first of all, congratulations, that's amazing, thank you, that's a huge accomplishment and it's awesome that you were able to, like you know. You say, get out of your own way to do that, yeah, yeah. So the process is pretty simple. You first establish the belief and sometimes, when people have a really good survival strategy, they're like no, I don't have that belief. I know I'm good enough. You're like okay, well, imagine that you can't achieve anything. Imagine you have to stay in bed.

Cassaandra: 27:44

You can't go to work.

Blake Lefkoe: 27:45

How do you feel? And they're like oh my God, I feel terrible about myself. You can't go to work. How do you feel? And they're like oh my God, I feel terrible about myself. So you get people in touch with the fact that they have the belief. You find the source, go back to your childhood. You know where did that belief come from? And then you come up with alternative interpretations.

Blake Lefkoe: 28:05

So what's another way we could explain those events, right? So it could be that I'm not good enough. It could be that my parents didn't go to parenting school and they don't have the skills and tools to parent me. Could be that they're just parenting me the way that their parents parented them, and it's got nothing to do with me. They would parent any child that way because that's how they parent. Doesn't mean anything about me, right? I had a brother or sister. They would probably be treated the same way. Could be that maybe I wasn't good enough for them, but that doesn't mean I won't be good enough for anybody. Could be that they had unrealistic expectations and in that house nobody was good enough, but that doesn't mean I won't be good enough anywhere else, right? So you just come up with whatever feels good to you where you're like. Yes, that makes sense, that could also be those events Okay.

Blake Lefkoe: 28:58

And once you come up with a bunch, you realize that what you said I'm not good enough is a truth. It's not the truth, it's one possible interpretation, it's not the old one. Then you kind of imagine going back in time and you're in that event, right, and I can see your dad, I can see your report card, I can see what you're wearing, I can see the room you're in the furniture, right, you make it very real, you can see it. Where, in that event, is I'm not good enough, right? What does it look like? Can you show me where it is? Because people think they saw it and people have this moment where they go. Oh, my God, you can't see it. All you can see is an event. All you can see is my dad saying something I can hear his tone.

Blake Lefkoe: 29:44

I can hear what he's saying, I can see his look of disappointment, but I can see I'm not good enough, enough that doesn't actually exist out there in the world and that, for a lot of people, is enough. And then do another step where we talk about the no meaning right. Those events had consequences. Never invalidate the consequences of anything that ever happened to a child, because it's hard, it's scary right yeah, um, but you realize that that event didn't mean anything. There's nothing I know for sure about you, because that event happened, doesn't?

Blake Lefkoe: 30:22

mean anything about who you are. Events don't have meaning. I can't make you feel anything, so the feeling was caused by the meaning you gave that event, not the event itself. So you imagine a child and giving that event a different interpretation. So whichever one you come up with, that really resonates right.

Blake Lefkoe: 30:44

So, imagine oh, my parents have unrealistic expectations. It's insane to expect a child to be perfect, because nobody's perfect, especially not children. We make mistakes, we're learning, we're figuring it out. So imagine you know your dad's like oh what's wrong with you? How come you didn't get an A? And you know you left your shoes in the hallway and just can't do anything right. And you'll gosh, it is insane that my dad has these expectations of me. He is just going to be continually disappointed and there's nothing I can do to live. Gosh, that's nuts Setting himself up to be displeased constantly.

Blake Lefkoe: 31:26

And as you imagine. Giving the event a different interpretation, the feeling completely shifts. You realize that just because you felt I'm not good enough, that doesn't prove the belief is true.

Cassaandra: 31:39

Yeah.

Blake Lefkoe: 31:40

Interpretation the feeling changes.

Cassaandra: 31:43

Right.

Blake Lefkoe: 31:44

Felt. It doesn't prove it's true. The feeling came from the meaning you gave the events, not the events itself. That's typically enough. Every once in a while someone gets a little stuck and we do one more step where I say imagine you're switched at birth and you grew up in a different house. You are still you.

Blake Lefkoe: 32:03

Everything about you is the same same wants and desires what you like, what you don't like. Right, you're you, but you grew up with two super supportive parents and when you come home with a bad grade, they go. Yeah, math is hard. How can we help you? What do you need? You need a tutor, can we? What can we do to support you? Because math is hard. Numbers are great, you know sometimes it makes sense to us.

Blake Lefkoe: 32:29

You know, when you clean your room and you go, wow, great job, but I'm going to teach you a. And you clean your room and you go, wow, great job, but I'm going to teach you a trick room. And you do this thing, it feels so nice in here, right, like if you just do this other little thing or whatever it is, you know you're supported and you're not criticized in a way where it's teaching. Hey, let me help you, let me give you this trick, let me show you a great way to do this. You do it whatever way works for you, but I'm going to just teach you a little bit, because that's what parents are here for.

Blake Lefkoe: 32:59

And as you grow up in this environment, do you still feel I'm not good enough? People say, no, of course, not. Right, that's the truth about you. If that's who you are, you can't change it. We can't change facts, can't change the truth about you, right? Two plus two is four. It doesn't matter what language, what color, where it is. We can't change it. It's a fact. Right, you in a different environment and that belief is no longer the truth. It doesn't even make sense anymore. It'd be a fact about who you are.

Cassaandra: 33:29

Wow, You're like yeah.

Blake Lefkoe: 33:32

And then and through one of those three steps, it just it's gone. And you see the shift in people, like their energy changes, their expression changes. I had a client that like it was so beautiful, it looked like 10,000 pounds rolled off her shoulders and she sat up straighter and her whole face changed and like I got all teary eyed it was so moving and like she went back into her life after eliminating this one belief. That completely shifted how she showed up for her, how she interpreted things, because when we believe we're not good enough, that's what we look for everywhere. Oh, I got fired. There's another example.

Blake Lefkoe: 34:15

Oh I didn't get the job. There's another example. Oh my kid talked back to me. There's another example Husband's mad at me. There it is again right.

Cassaandra: 34:24

Right.

Blake Lefkoe: 34:24

When you get rid of that belief, all of a sudden those things start showing up differently. It's like you take off the glasses of the eye.

Blake Lefkoe: 34:33

And now you're able to be like wow, my kids. Really frustrated. He doesn't have the skills and tools to express himself. It doesn't mean he doesn't respect me because I'm not good enough. He actually feels safe enough in my presence to express himself. Okay, you know, it feels different. Oh, I got I lost this job. Yeah, Maybe there's something better out there for me. Maybe I was stuck here in this universe providing me with opportunity. And when you get rid of these beliefs, you literally create space for other things to show up in the world and you're able to perceive and experience differently so how long does it take you to work?

Cassaandra: 35:16

and maybe every individual is different because we have these old patterns and so daily you probably say, okay, you have to do this every day, you have to think about this every day. When you start saying I don't know if I can do that, then it's time to shift. You tell your clients, okay to shift and and put a different perspective on it. So another how does? How do you sustain what you are?

Blake Lefkoe: 35:43

it's gone it's gone, really no, having to remind yourself there's no. Oh, I have to switch my perspective. I have to think about this differently. When you eliminate a belief, it is gone and it is such a powerful thing to experience, yeah, I mean. Yeah, that's it like there. There's no integration, there's no. Oh, I have to. You know, and I've had clients say, okay, I need a need, a couple of weeks to let this settle and I say whatever works for you, but it's gone, it's not coming back.

Blake Lefkoe: 36:15

You know we can work again next week. There's, there's, no like. Your brain isn't, doesn't take time to rewire itself. You're just, you're creating new pathways and and sometimes I'll, you know, say, hey, take a day, take two, and then schedule with me. And sometimes I'll say, hey, take a day, take two and then schedule with me. And within a day or two, they're always like, oh my God, yeah, you're right, I want to just work.

Cassaandra: 36:35

Next, week Wow, that is amazing, really incredible thing.

Blake Lefkoe: 36:40

Another really incredible thing about this is it's not like therapy. You don't just come back, you know what.

Blake Lefkoe: 36:45

I mean Five sessions for a lot of patterns is enough. You get to where you want to go. You are. You freed yourself from this pattern? You're stuck in people that have a lot of trauma, a lot of patterns, addiction, depression. It takes more and everyone's different. I've I've had people with really severe alcoholism depression couldn't hold a job, couldn't hold relationship, and we worked for I don't even know that we had 10 sessions.

Blake Lefkoe: 37:23

Wow, and he kept it. He came in one day and he was like Blake, I have nothing to work on. Nothing stresses me out anymore. My life is still chaotic, right, I'm like still, but I know that it's going to be okay. It doesn't. It just doesn't stress me out. Like I don't have to drink and even like his relationship with money changed. We work on money. Yeah, like I'm starting to save money and I'm you know this job I would have walked out on. I'm able to stay in and it's not a problem anymore. I'm actually like learning how to enjoy it. And he said he ran into his ex wife and she didn't even recognize him. She was just like your energy is so different you looked different.

Blake Lefkoe: 38:06

So you know everyone's different. I have a client that we do five beliefs a session. Easy, you do five sessions, five beliefs every session. She comes in and eliminates five beliefs every, just super fast. Okay, it's like I want to do one belief and I want to talk a lot and I want to just do this and do that and I just I want to do one belief and I'm happy and that's enough for me and I'll see you next week. So everyone's different. Um, but it is, it's not. It's not a long-term thing.

Cassaandra: 38:42

Wow, you sound like a miracle worker.

Blake Lefkoe: 38:48

I think that is amazing that there's always more stuff to work on. Like I have a mentor that you know we we trade every other week. I work with her, she works with me, and you find those little idiosyncrasies and you know I'm still feeling stuck here, I'm still triggered by this, or I still feel kind of needy here, or there's resistance, resistance here. So there's always more stuff to do. But in terms of the big patterns, like where people are really stuck, you get rid of the beliefs contributing to those patterns and those go away and I'll have clients that'll reach back out and be like gosh, you know I'm I'm experiencing anger with my kids. I'm like, yeah, well, let's work on that and you get rid of you. You know I'm powerless and what makes me powerful is having people listen to me or being in control. Wow, there's a sense of powerlessness there.

Blake Lefkoe: 39:41

So you get rid of the sense of powerless and the anger dissipates and you're able to show up.

Cassaandra: 39:49

So what you do can create lasting change oh, absolutely that is amazing. Oh my gosh. Um, that, that's incredible. That's incredible. I could, um, let me ask you are you able to work with your son Like do you see things when your son like patterns that, um, you know, as he gets older, may stick, or?

Blake Lefkoe: 40:22

how, when I was little yeah, I think I was, I don't know, six or seven years old and we went to this carnival, yeah, and it was really crowded, and a woman put her cigarette out on my arm and I started crying and she yelled at me and she said watch where you're going. So my parents took me, we left, we went to the parking lot and I was crying and whatever happened two months later, however long. We went to another event and I was crying and whatever happened two months later, however long. We went to another event and it was crowded and I was terrified and my parents, what's going on? And I was like I don't like crowds, crowds are dangerous, I don't want to be here.

Blake Lefkoe: 41:02

And my dad took me aside and he said okay, where did you get the idea that crowds are dangerous? And I said when that woman burned me with a cigarette he said okay said okay, what's another? And all we did was alternative interpretations, what's another way? Some crowds are dangerous. Crowds where people are smoking cigarettes are dangerous. That specific crowd wasn't dangerous.

Blake Lefkoe: 41:23

Something scary happened, but you were right so we just with other ways to describe those events, and he said so, is it the truth that all crowds are dangerous? And I said yes, and the fear dissipated and it was gone and I didn't remember that that happened. They told me about it later, but I've never had it with crowds. Yeah, so I've done it with my son, not the whole process, not the no meeting, but we were at the store once and he was like oh my gosh, I always make everybody late for everything all the time. Yeah, I could see how you feel that.

Blake Lefkoe: 42:02

And I was like well, what else? And I was like you know, do you wear a watch? He was like no, and I was like well, maybe is it possible that when you're younger and you don't have a good sense of time, you make people late for things. But when you get older and you start wearing a watch and you have a better sense of time, that won't be true anymore. And he's like yeah, yeah, totally. And I was like do you make everybody late for things? Like, are your teachers late? But he was like well, no, and I was like and are we late to everything all?

Cassaandra: 42:33

the time.

Blake Lefkoe: 42:34

He goes no, just some things some of the time and I was like, okay, and what about this, and what about this? And I was like, so is it the truth that you make everybody late for everything all the time? No, that doesn't even make sense. Wow, no, you can, you know you do, you can do those little things with, especially with kids, right, just give them other ways to to hold that sure enough sure query to believe. For 40 years takes takes a lot of time.

Cassaandra: 43:04

That's absolutely, absolutely but even people go.

Blake Lefkoe: 43:07

This is so deeply ingrained and I'm like, yeah, you've had it for a long time, but that doesn't mean that we can't get rid of it. Yeah, that's good, just something that you know. When you realize it's not out there in the world, you go oh my God, I can't see it. I can't see it out in the world. Where has it been for all these years? Oh my God, it's been in my head. I've been carrying that around with me this whole time.

Cassaandra: 43:31

That's amazing. So, blake, I could talk to you even longer, but we can't Now remember. In the beginning I talked about my listeners, and these are for individuals to unlock. You know their full potential and their stuff, they, they. Some may want to write a book, some may want to change jobs, get out of a relationship. Some may want to change jobs, get out of a relationship.

Cassaandra: 43:59

Could you, in this short period of time because then I'm going to ask you, how can they get, how can my listeners get in touch with you? But how can you talk to them to change their perspective? Like you know, because this is my thing, I know that we're all here for something, for a reason, and it doesn't mean that we won't have trials and tribulations. We will. But I'm so gung ho about individuals living their life as it was ordained to live and a lot of people I know, based on doing your reading, how, in the beginning, you were like, well, I wasn't fulfilled, I didn't feel right, I knew something was wrong, and I would love people to get out of that pattern, to know. Some of them know what it is that they have to do and want to do, but they're like stuck. How would you talk to them about, as we're wrapping up, about how they could get unstuck and you can pick a certain thing, sure well, I have.

Blake Lefkoe: 45:05

I have a tool that I I can give you, so the most profound way that I have found is just eliminating the beliefs that keep you stuck and you give yourself freedom, right, but a really amazing tool and they actually they teach a course in this in the lefkoe institute. It's called the occurring course and it's amazing, it's called the freedom course. It's like, it's such a neat. So the idea is we give everything meaning all the time.

Cassaandra: 45:34

Okay.

Blake Lefkoe: 45:35

Right. So you go to the store and you know the woman there doesn't smile at you and you go. Oh she's. She's mad at me. I didn't know she doesn't like me. And now you're upset, Right, Stop. Stop when you get upset and in the beginning, start with little things, break yourself into the big ones, right?

Blake Lefkoe: 45:56

What meaning am I giving this event? I'm giving this, so the event is she didn't smile. That's the event. That's what we can see. That's actually real. Okay, meaning I'm giving it. I'm giving it a meaning that she's mad at me or she doesn't like me, right? What else could it mean? Could mean she's having a bad day. Could mean she has a headache. Could mean she's fighting with her husband. Could mean her dog just died. Could mean maybe she is upset with you, but that doesn't mean you're not likable or there's something wrong with you or that you did something wrong, right, it doesn't mean anything.

Blake Lefkoe: 46:32

And when you realize the meaning you're giving that event is not the truth, it's one possible interpretation that meaning dissipates and then so does the feeling, and you start doing that with all kinds of things, especially after right. Sometimes, in the moment it can be difficult. You can train yourself, but when you're in bed at night and you can't sleep because you're like, oh man, that guy cut me off, yeah, such a whatever and that thing you're thinking about, that's keeping you awake right what meaning am I giving that event?

Blake Lefkoe: 47:07

you know, my kids not listening to me. I'm giving it the meaning they don't respect me yes so now I'm angry. Well, what else. It means they respect me enough to say how they feel, they feel safe enough around me to talk back and to tell me what's going on in their mind, right, right, this could mean that could mean all these things. Do I know for sure that they don't respect me because of this? No, it doesn't mean anything, and when you can let go of the meaning, the feeling changes.

Cassaandra: 47:45

Okay.

Blake Lefkoe: 47:46

You can do it with everything. Right, the meaning we give events are what cause our emotion, it's not the events themselves. One example right, you're walking down the street and you see a man. That is the event. Give that event the meaning. Oh my God, he could hurt me. How do you feel it is real? Why, on the street, you see that same man and you go oh, there's a big man here. I'm nobody's gonna mess with me, because that guy's right here yeah you feel safe right you walk down the street, you see that same man.

Blake Lefkoe: 48:27

You go, man, he's pretty hot and he's so excited yeah you walk down the street and you go oh, there's a man there. There's no feeling, right?

Blake Lefkoe: 48:39

yes completely different emotions from the exact same event. It's the meaning we give that event that causes our emotions. Start touching yourself and seeing what meaning am I giving. That's producing this negative emotion. And what else could it mean? I got fired, yeah. Could mean I'm not good enough. Could mean there's something wrong with me. Could mean there's something better coming and I was stuck in this job and I would have missed this opportunity, right? Could mean this doesn't actually align with what I'm doing. Could mean a million things.

Blake Lefkoe: 49:15

We don't know for sure that it means anything about you, right, that's good, and you give it a different meaning, that that negative emotion just dissipates.

Cassaandra: 49:27

Wow, that's good, blake. You're helping me too, I feel like even though you said it's not therapy, but I'm feeling this thing. This is real good. I'm putting myself in some situations that I'm having these limiting beliefs, so that's helping me a lot and I appreciate it. How can my listeners get in touch with you?

Blake Lefkoe: 49:51

So my website and my email are just my name. My email is BlakeLefkoe at gmailcom. My website is Blake Lefkoecom B-L-A-K-E-L-E -F, as in Frank K-O-E.

Cassaandra: 50:09

Okay.

Blake Lefkoe: 50:10

And on the website you can click a link for a free. It says 15 minutes, but they're usually 30, but a free consultation.

Cassaandra: 50:18

Okay.

Blake Lefkoe: 50:19

Tell me what your patterns are, what's going on, how I can help you know and anything you want I can help you. You can explain any questions or doubts you have and it's just time for you. Whatever you need in that time, okay, and if you want to book a session, then we go from there. There's also a link to just book an hour session. If okay, then I know I want this.

Cassaandra: 50:46

Right, and and listeners. All of this is going to also go in the show notes as well, and I am confident, like that you're going to hear from some people, because I think this session or I don't want to say session, but this podcast, this type of topic breaking free from limiting beliefs is what we all have. We all have limiting beliefs, and if you're sick and tired of them and you're ready to mitigate them so that you can move forward in your life, this is something that individuals need to hear.

Blake Lefkoe: 51:18

Thank you, so much for having me, Cassandra. This has been really fun.

Cassaandra: 51:22

Yeah, and I thank you. And something, Blake I always tell my listeners bye for now. And also to please share this podcast with individuals that you know that this will bless them. You know that they're stuck because they just can't get out of their way, and this is something that's going to really help them get out of their way. So again, Blake, thank you and bye for now.